snacks and gas

one of my responsibilities as a title 1 aide is to read or listen to ISTEP tests. wow. all i can say is wow. oh, and apparently the snacks make it all worthwhile, or at least bearable.

i have two humorous bits to share with you.

student: i really hate these tests. i don't like doing them. i want to get done and go to the computer lab. can i go to the lab now?

me: i am sorry you hate the istep (in my head i say that i hate istep as well) no you may not go to the computer lab now. we can, however take a break. would you like a snack break?

student: yes. i guess i'm just here for the snacks.

me: well, ok, then. let's eat.

2. let me preface this by saying that i have a horrible sinus infection right now and am MISERABLE with a capital M. i can't take penicillin or any of his friends, so i go straight for things like keflex and zpac. heavy duty. hard on the intestines if you know what i mean. ick.

my stomach: gurgle, gurgle, pop

student: wow

me: sorry, i'm taking some nasty medicine right now, but don't worry, all the air bubbles are staying inside my stomach. (i hope)

student: oh, well, that's ok mrs. solms... my dog does that too.

me: oh, really?

student: yes! when my doggie lays down at night and puts her belly up in the air, she makes those same sounds.

me: alrighty then. let's keep working.

snacks. gas. istep. i think they go well together, don't you?